The Courage to Seek Wisdom

I wasn’t sure about my next step. I had taught for three years with success. I was moving to a Catholic school that split my time between the classroom and the parish office. I had come to love teaching, but I knew I couldn’t stay in the classroom. I had a growing family, and I wanted my wife to have the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom.

The original plan was to get a master's in educational leadership to become a principal. However, I started to question if that was the right option. Maybe I should change my career, potentially pursuing an MBA. Researching, visiting colleges, and speaking with peers seemed to only bring about more confusion.

At this point, I knew I couldn’t solve the problem on my own.

I was fortunate to know a consultant through my years of pickup soccer. I started to explain my challenge, and he offered to meet with me. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I knew I needed help.

Shortly after sitting down to talk at Panera, he began breaking down lies and assumptions that I had made about myself. He taught me the importance of making intentional choices that compound over time. He gave me reading recommendations and scheduled another meeting.

The few meetings we had, and the short chats on the soccer field, changed my life. I expected some career advice; instead, I received advice that fundamentally changed my habits.

The Gift of a Mentor

This is just one of the many mentors who have helped me in my life. Many mentors have helped my career; some have impacted my spiritual life, while others have shaped who I would become as a man.

Every mentor had a gift, lesson, skill, or insight to pass on to me. Without them, I wouldn’t be who I am today.

However, occasionally a question will pop up: What if I hadn’t listened to them?

Youth is a great blessing in life, but it has its limitations. As Morrie tells us while suffering from ALS, youth has many benefits, but it lacks wisdom and understanding.

I would also add that youth carries a common vice: pride.

Of course, pride is a vice that comes for us all, but youth offers us such a limited perspective that it is easy to fall into its trap. One destructive tendency of pride is to ignore the wisdom of those who have gone before us.

We ignore the advice of the mentor.

The Folly of Pride

A classic example of inexperience and pride comes through the choice laid before Rehoboam.

He has just inherited Israel from his father, Solomon, and he must make a choice. Will he be as demanding as his father was on the people, or will he bring a softer approach?

He asks the elders, and their suggestion is to ease the burden on the people, and they will serve him faithfully. Rehoboam asks his peers, and they tell him to work the people even harder than his father did.

Rehoboam foolishly follows his peers and causes the kingdom to split in two.

We may scoff at Rehoboam, but how often do we reject the wisdom of mentors in our lives?

This rejection could be an outright rejection of a mentor, a refusal to listen, or even open mockery. It can also be more subtle, a small voice telling us that we are wise, that we are right, and that the mentor is just a fool.

This is a temptation we all face.

However, what do we truly have to gain by just listening to ourselves, by giving in to our pride?

The Freedom of Humility

At best, we possess a faux peace, and at worst, we experience a loneliness that pushes us to despair.

What if we humble ourselves, ask for advice, and genuinely consider it?

Well, then we experience a bounty of wisdom and the release of a great burden.

We no longer have to carry all the answers.

Instead, we can depend on others, appreciate their insight, and build a better life together.

My simple request led to a discussion at Panera that changed my outlook.

What could a mentor do for you?

This Week's Challenge: Seek Out Wisdom

This week, take a few minutes to consider the men who have helped shape your life. Think about the lessons they've taught you, the advice they've offered, and the ways they've challenged you to grow.

If you have a mentor, reach out to him. Ask for his perspective on something you're facing, or simply thank him for the wisdom he's shared.

If you don't have a mentor, identify a man whose character, wisdom, or experience you admire. Invite him to coffee, ask him a question, or begin a conversation. You don't need to make it complicated.

Most importantly, approach the conversation with humility. Don't simply look for someone to affirm what you already believe. Be willing to hear something that challenges you.

You never know which conversation might change your life.

Forge Ahead

Anvil: the place of formation.
Arrow: the mission we’re sent on.

The world needs more men formed in virtue. Forward this to a brother who’s ready to grow.